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[personal profile] tainted_heaven
I needed this. I wanted to do a nice long, picture post type of entry, but time just won't allow for that today.

Let's see what I've been up to.

I saw Avenged Sevenfold in February in Atlantic City, and I'll see them again in May at the Festival Pier. I will also be going to Ozzfest in August, because Chris is making me. His logic was that since Ozzy's playing this date, he'd feel bad if I didn't go.

We booked Rosewood Caterers for the reception. The wedding is officially October 13, 2007 now. It's going to be an evening reception, but Chris wants us to do pictures outside, so now we're looking for a ceremony location. Right now, I'm honestly more worried about how we're going to pay for everything. Mimi's supposed to be leaving in June, if I don't get offered her position and her salary, I need to find a second job. My dress came to my house today via Fed Ex. (If you want to see a picture, email me and I'll get one to you.)

I started Weight Watchers on April 1st, and I'm up to a whopping 7lbs lost. I feel so discouraged that I've lost so little, but at the same time, at least I didn't gain anything. I feel a lot healthier already, and I'm already doing a lot better with drinking a lot more water and eating more vegetables. Chris was suppposed to go on it with me, but he hasn't started yet. He's trying to get in gear though.

I've had two uncles die this month, my Uncle Joey on the 3rd, and my Uncle Ritchie just yesterday. Both of Scott's grandmother also just died within a week of each other. This was not how I wanted to cut down the guestlist. It sucks.

And now, for a

I woke up having a panic attack this morning, which is finally starting to go away, and I couldn't find my xanax ANYWHERE. I had the panic attack because I have a paper due tomorrow that I haven't even started yet, and the whole reason I haven't started yet is because I've had too much to do. Between making dinners and driving my Mom around and the funeral on Saturday, it's been nuts. We asked Sarah and Joe nicely to clean up the kitchen on Sunday night, but my Mom wound up doing it and didn't finish. Well, it's not like she was going to finish yesterday, so when I got home, not only did I have to make dinner, I had to run the dishwasher, do enough dishes by hand so we had something to eat off of, clear the table, set the table AND watch Joey while Sarah and Joe were food shopping. The whole time I'm doing all of this, Chris is bitching about how Sarah and Joe didn't do anything to help clean up on Sunday. WHILE HE'S SITTING IN THE RECLINER WITH HIS FEET UP, WATCHING THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL! So after dinner, I have to go get my Mom from my uncle's house, because nobody else could be bothered to, it takes me a full hour round trip to get her. Then I have to come home, finish doing the dishes and cleaning dinner up, then get all of my wash done in one night. The only thing that was good about that, is that my Mom totally came right out and said that I'm the only one who helps her out and she feels bad about that, so she finished most of my wash for me, which was good.

Ok, so I'm in a really bitchy mood when I wake up because of the paper thing. Chris tells me to just calm down and stop worrying about the little stuff. I'm like, "If I don't turn this paper in, and if it's not good, then I'm going to flunk a class that I worked my ass off all semester to do good in." So he gets upset because I'm upset and goes outside to move my car so that he can get his truck out of the driveway. He comes in and says, "your front tire could use a little bit of air in it". I didn't say it, but I was thinking, "Yeah, that tire that I asked you to put air in LAST THURSDAY"!? So then I couldn't find my Xanax, and my sister gets in the shower at MY shower time. I'm so sick of those two feeling entitled to do whatever the hell they want to. I wound up being late for work, because she didn't get out of the shower until 7:40, then Joe got in there until 7:50. How I managed to take a shower and get out the door by 8:05 is beyond me. I get in the car and all I can think about is how pissed off I am at the way it looks. I had my car spotless a month ago and I was doing a really good job keeping it that way too, but now it's a shithole all over again, and it's not all my fault. I had to park in Guam AGAIN today, carry my bag with a textbook and 4 library books in it, plus my laptop, all the way into my office. (Guam is like a ten block walk.) I had to bring all of that, because everybody knows that there's no way I'm going to be able to work on my paper at home tonight, so as much as I just want to go home and go to bed, I'm going to be stuck here, at the library, until I'm done my paper.

I'm just so tired of trying so hard and getting absolutely nowhere. I feel like the female George Bailey (if you've never seen "It's a Wonderful Life", you won't get that.)

Well, at least the Grade D beef fajitas I had for lunch weren't too bad.
I'm just looking forward to going home and trying on my wedding dress.
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Janet Linaweaver

February 2009

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